Online Accessories and Clothing

As I have begun to emerge into the adult world of office drudgery like a cloyingly idealistic butterfly ready to be crushed against the windscreen of inevitability I find my once burgeoning collection of t-shirts to have dwindled to a few scraggly refugees of sartorial editing; as such, this blog post is meant as a memorial to those fallen in the service of clothing my back.

Go Gryffindor

I bought this gem at a charity shop junior year of high school. I remember because it was shortly after I got my first (and so far, last) car. It looks the same way an imitation football jersey, though on closer inspection it was, in fact a Gryffindor jersey. I had to put this bad boy down last year after 7 great years of service. The collar had frayed completely around and holes had started forming on all the seams. While threadbare-ness is a desired attribute of the t-shirt, they should be retired as soon as holes start forming as these are not acceptable for public.

Ratt ‘n’ Roll

This was by far the apple of its daddy’s (my) eye. It was a replica Ratt band t-shirts and featured a rat with electrical wires leading from its exposed brain to a mixing board. But like all white t-shirts it showed its age much more honestly than a t-shirt of any different color. I reckon that white t-shirts have a life of about a year before needing to be thrown out. I wore this one for about 4 years, until the underarm stains were so vile and had become so large that it was no longer a pleasure to wear this t-shirt. It was a sad day getting rid of this one, but this is the reason I now try to not buy white t-shirts. Though when I do, it is with the understanding our relationship will be torrid and short lived.

Smoking Puma

This baby came to me the way all good t-shirts should, via hand-me-down. I was home from my first year of college and after attending a wedding had spent the night at a home of a lady. To save me the indignity of doing the walk of shame in the morning I was given this t-shirt. It featured the Puma mascot smoking over the Puma logo that had been replaced with the word ‘fuma’. The reason for the longevity of this t is that it was black. Black t-shirts represent your best chance to foster a shirt into full, threadbare maturity and comfort, since black doesn’t show dirt and stains at all. The reason I had to part with this one is that it got caught on an exposed nail and tore.

The best t-shirts are those that stay with you for years, breaking in slowly and conforming to the contours of your body. Therefore the best colors for t-shirts are dark and don’t show stains and dirt (i.e. black).